SPARK Insights™ Issue #0044

Last week’s newsletter got the least number of responses I can remember.

Maybe it was the U.S. holiday. Maybe the topic of ease made people un-easy (haha).

Maybe me sharing how my life looks right now came across differently than I intended.

I don’t really know.

But here’s what I do know: I’ve been on a quest to wrestle with a set of questions that keep surfacing, both for me and for my clients:

• Who am I?

• What do I really want?

• Why do I want it?

• Where do I want this to play out?

• How am I going to achieve it?

These aren’t abstract. They’re fundamental. They form the framework for my entire coaching paradigm.

Yes, I lead SPARK Sessions™, SPARK Tee Time™, and the Story Shift Experience™. But those are just tools. The end goal is always the same: helping people answer these questions and take the first step forward.

Why “What do I really want?” is so hard to answer

In my own journey, this has been the slipperiest question.

It feels selfish to name what I want. I was raised, like many of you, to put others first, to meet expectations, to play my role. To want something “just for me” seemed indulgent.

But here’s the truth: if I don’t live into what I really want, I’m not just denying myself. I’m robbing the people I’m meant to serve of the best version of me.

That’s the risk of living an unfulfilled life. You pay the price in restlessness, resentment, and regret. And those around you — your family, your team, your clients — pay the price too.

I know this because I’ve lived it.

Back in 2009, I was in my own personal hell. I had built a business that others defined for me — not what I truly wanted, but what I thought would earn me approval. I was living out someone else’s story, not my own.

The cost? Panic attacks. Health problems that cracked open that year and that, in some ways, I’m still working to reverse to this day.

That season branded this truth into me: ignoring what you really want doesn’t just break you down internally. It leaks into your body, your relationships, your entire life.

That’s why I talk about fit around so often. You have to design life around you, not squeeze yourself into someone else’s mold. That’s why I sometimes use the word self-centered — not in a negative way, but as the discipline of centering your life around what fulfills you.

It takes courage to say out loud, “This is what I want.” It takes courage to stop living by default and start living by design. But the alternative is far more costly.

Where people get stuck

In working with hundreds of clients, I’ve noticed there are three main traps:

1. Identity that no longer serves you.
   Stories from childhood, spells cast by parents, programs you’ve carried for decades. Until those are shifted, you’ll keep running the same loops. This is where Story Shift Experience™ and SPARK Sessions™ do their deepest work.

2. Unclear “what.”
   Even once you’ve broken free from old stories, many people get stuck on what they want. Not what pleases others. Not what earns applause. But what actually fulfills them. This is the heart of fit around living.

3. The next step.
   Even with clarity of identity and purpose, people stall on action. The “how” question deserves its own attention — and I’ll cover that in a future issue.

Right now, I’m digging deeper into the second trap: Purpose.

I’ve been working with a tool called the Purpose Factor™ Assessment. It’s been eye-opening for me — clarifying not just what I do, but what uniquely fulfills me in my work, my relationships, my health, and my legacy.

My own results showed me this combination:

• Recruiter Advantage (Natural Advantage)

• Messenger Skillset (Acquired Skills)

• Hurt Healer (Pull-Passion)

• All-In Strength (Origin Strength)

Here’s what page 2 of my 45-page assessment shows. The assessment is quite comprehensive and reviews all kinds of factors. This page gives a snapshot.

That four-part clarity hit me like a key in a lock.

How many of you that know me well look at this and go, “Yeah, that’s Bob!”?

I believe you’ll find this assessment and report fascinating as well, but before I roll this out formally, I want to test it with a small group of you who love digging into what makes you tick. Here’s my invitation:

• The cost is $49 — that simply covers my cost/license fee for the individual assessment itself.

• If you’re in, I’ll send you a payment link, followed by your assessment link.

• Once you complete it (within 2 weeks, please), we’ll schedule a complimentary one-on-one debrief where I’ll personally walk you through your results and what they mean for you. That conversation will be my gift to you.

• I’m looking for just 10 people to do this alongside me.

How Purpose Factor™ is different

You may be familiar with tools like the Enneagram, StrengthsFinder, or DISC. All of those are valuable:

• Enneagram helps you understand your motivations and how you show up in relationships.

• StrengthsFinder shows you what you’re naturally good at.

• DISC (D-I-S-C) helps you recognize communication and behavioral patterns.

But here’s what they don’t tell you:

👉 What uniquely fulfills you, and how to align your life and work around it.

That’s where Purpose Factor™ stands apart. It doesn’t just describe you — it helps you decide. It pulls together four core elements into a single statement you can use as a compass for every area of life: work, relationships, health, and legacy.

This isn’t about managing behavior or labeling personality. It’s about uncovering the specific contribution you were built to make — and the conditions where you’ll feel most alive while doing it.

That’s why I’m excited to pilot this with you.

Reply with “I’m interested in Purpose Factor” if you’d like to claim one of the 10 spots.

I’ll send you the payment link, the assessment, and we’ll book your complimentary debrief together.

Life is too short to live trapped in someone else’s story.

— Coach Reg