SPARK Insights by Coach Reg — Issue #0032

In golf, there’s a simple truth: The tighter you grip the club, the worse your shots become.

When you hold on for dear life, your swing (and life) locks up. Your natural feel disappears. You lose the easy flow that makes the game (and life) beautiful — and the ball (and your goals) go anywhere but where you want it to.

Trying to overpower the course (or situation) never works for long. Golf (Life) punishes force and rewards presence.

For Non-Golfers, Here’s Some Context

A round of golf has 18 holes. The first nine are called the Front 9 — the start of your day, when you’re figuring things out. The last nine are the Back 9 — the stretch where you bring everything you’ve learned so far and finish the round with whatever wisdom, calm, or chaos you carry.

A lot of us live this way too:
The first half — ambitious, busy, proving ourselves.
The second half — if we’re lucky — more present, more honest, more free.

Here’s how my life has mirrored this game — and why I’m choosing a different swing for the rest of it.

My Personal Front 9

For the first three decades of my professional journey — my Front 9 — I gripped the club too tight.

I gripped everything too tight, if I’m honest.

Coaching basketball, building businesses, hustling to serve clients, fighting to be the spiritual man I thought I should be — I was determined to shape life to my will. I thought if I just pushed harder, it would all bend my way.

And it did… for a while.

I had wins on paper — but inside, my body was tense, my mind never settled, and a quiet ache told me I was missing something deeper.

Life kept handing me mirrors, but I didn’t always want to look.

Until a few Sundays ago — when one brutal round forced me to see it:
The Round That Broke Me (and the Mirror That Found Me)

My Personal Back 9

Just seven days later, the same course gave me my answer:
From 107 to 83 (and What It Taught Me About Life, Leadership, and Letting Go)

That round didn’t fix my swing — it changed my spirit.

It reminded me that ease beats force. Presence trumps pressure. Joy beats hustle.

So here’s what I’ve decided:
For the next three decades — my Back 9 — I’m loosening my grip.

I’m letting four decades of coaching, three decades of leading people and companies, and a lifetime of wrestling with what’s true, settle into one simple practice:

Live and lead with joy.
Show up with love.
Grip the club loosely.

The scorecard used to tell me who I was.

The win-loss record. The webinar sign-ups. The book reviews. The revenue sheet.

When the numbers were up, I felt good about myself. When they dropped, I questioned my worth.

That was the real trap: believing I was only as good as my last score.

Who am I really?
What do people think of me?
Am I enough?

Turns out, none of that scorekeeping truly matters. Not on the course. Not in business. Not in my soul.

So now, I use a different measure:
Does this feel joyful?
Does this feel loving?

If not, I’m gripping too tight. If yes, I’m free.

How This Can Play Out

I’m done trying to prove myself.
I want real connection — not a pitch. Not a chase.

I want to spend my Back 9 blending what I love:
Entrepreneurship. Leadership. Coaching. Sport. Consciousness. Authenticity. Joy.

I want to walk beside people who use golf or competition to see themselves more clearly — and who want to bring that same honest lens to their business, their relationships, their health, their legacy.

I know now:
When I feel tight — when stress creeps in, when the scorecard feels heavy — that’s my signal.

Time to pause. Breathe. Loosen my grip.

The Front 9 was about fitting in — playing by the rules I thought I had to follow.
The Back 9 is about fitting around — shaping life to what feels true, free, and alive.

This is my grand experiment. My daily practice. My open invitation.

SPARK Insights Prompts

• Where in your life or work are you gripping too tight right now?

• If you loosened your grip just a little, what might open up?

• How could your Back 9 — your next season — feel lighter if you trusted presence more than pressure?

Thanks for walking a few holes with me today.
See you next Wednesday.

- Coach Reg