SPARK Insights™ Issue #0054

The email arrived on November 6th.

Subject line: A Full Stop

I read it once.

Then again.

Within the hour, I messaged him.

"When can we talk?"

My friend Devin, a master connector and builder of communities who'd spent years facilitating high-level connections through a networking group he'd built, had just blown it all up.

Not gradually.

Not quietly.

He sent an email to everyone in his network and basically said: I'm done.

Here's part of what he wrote:

"I'm tired of giving so much to everyone else and not feeling that same energy or impact show up in my own life. I'm tired of helping others have breakthroughs while I stay stuck trying to find mine... I've sacrificed my health, time with my family, and time with friends, and that's not okay."

He canceled everything. Meetings. Events. New consulting. His Brand Partner Program.

Everything.

A full stop.

The 3am Wake-Up

That night, around 3am, something pulled me out of sleep.

A heavy energy.

I didn't know what it was at first, so I started reciting the Ho'oponopono prayer, the ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness I shared with you last week.

Read it here if you missed this issue:
https://sparkinsights.beehiiv.com/p/the-four-phrases-that-reversed-a-curse 

I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.

Over and over.

Then my thoughts turned to Devin.

And I knew.

That heavy energy? It was his energy.

So I kept going. Reciting the prayer with him in mind. Sending him whatever positive energy I could from my corner of the universe at 3 in the morning.

When we talked last week, he mentioned Friday morning was his darkest moment. The mental breakdown hit. The world felt like it was ending.

The time I was awake, thinking of him, sending him light.

He felt it.

"That was probably right when I was feeling the shift," he said. "Thank you."

What Actually Happened

Here's what I saw when I unpacked Devin's story:

He had already quit. He just hadn't stopped yet.

Three months ago, he started to feel it. That slog. The “busy-to-what-end?” moment.

He tried to pivot. Adjust. Make things fit better.

But then revenue dropped 85% month over month.
Clients canceled.
Deals fell through.
40 straight no's.
Weird confrontational moments.

Everything that used to work... stopped working.

His usual default response? "Let's innovate. Let's work harder. Let's run faster."

But this time, something different happened.

He caught himself.

"I don't have the energy to do that. I'm going to stop. Actually stop. And be intentional about what's next."

The Universe Responds to What You Really Want

Here's what I told him on our call:

You energetically disconnected from it before you physically stopped it.

Even though you were still in it (still running meetings, still building the group, still hustling), you had already quit. Beyond the 3D. In your soul.

And the universe, which is a perfect, unbiased algorithm, went: "Okay."

Instead of letting you plow through, forcing it to work, it made the path forward impossible.

Not as punishment.
As permission.

Permission to actually do what you really wanted to do.

Devin's response when I said this?

"A hundred percent. That is exactly this scenario."

Claiming Sovereignty

Here's where the story gets really good.

Most people in Devin's position would panic. They'd grab the next opportunity.

Any opportunity.
Any open door.

Not Devin.

He did something I've been helping clients do for years, but rarely see someone do this clearly on their own:

He got specific about what he wants and what he doesn't want.

He made a list.

Not income first (though it has to make sense).

He listed his non-negotiables for a company:

• What's your 3-5 year plan?

• How are your finances?

• What did you make this year? What are you projecting next year?

• What does success look like?

• If these questions offend you, that tells me what I need to know.

Then he started interviewing companies.
Not the other way around.

He's asking them to justify why he should bring his energy to their team.

One company invited him to visit the business, meet the team.

Great.

But his next step? "What are you and your wife doing Friday night? Let's go to dinner. Not a business dinner. I want to see who you are as humans."

He's not just looking for a job. He's choosing a container.

Containers

(Credit to my partner Brandon Boyd here for bringing this language to my attention and giving me permission to use it in service of others who need it.)

A container is simply this: a structure that serves you for a season.

Think of an egg.

The embryo stays inside as long as it needs to. The shell protects it, nourishes it, gives it exactly what it needs to develop.

But in order to become a chicken, it has to break out.

The container that once supported its growth becomes the thing that would kill it if it stayed.

Devin built his group as a container. It served him. It served hundreds of people. Real connections. Real impact. Real value.

But the container became too confining.

He had to break out.

Not because he failed.

Because he outgrew it.

The Decision Paradox

One of the most powerful shifts in our conversation came when Devin was stressing about making "the right decision" for his next move.

I told him this:

"You're not making the right or wrong decision. You're making a decision based on the information you have in your current state. That decision will serve you for a season. And when that season is over, you'll make another decision."

"You've already done the hardest thing: blowing something up. Choosing to leave something later because it's not the right fit? That's way easier."

He literally paused. Added it to his notes.

"That takes so much pressure off. It's not 'what if.' It's 'this will be what it needs to be for as long as it needs to be.'"

My Own Containers

I haven't shared this much, but I've walked away from things the past few years too.

Masterminds.
My Facebook book and training program.
Brandon and I stopped promoting Feedstories.
Relationships.

Containers that had become confining.

It was emotional. It was difficult.
But it was necessary.

Because I could feel it. That same energetic disconnect Devin described.

I had already left. I just hadn't stopped yet.

When you stay in a container past its expiration date, it doesn't just stop serving you.

It starts suffocating you.

The leaves on the trees outside my window? They served their purpose. They're falling now. Not because they failed. Because it's time.

They'll come back when it's time for that container again.

What About You?

So here's what I want to ask:

What container are you in that's become too small?

What used to fit perfectly but now feels like it's crushing you?

What are you forcing because you're afraid to let it go?

What have you already energetically left, but you're still physically showing up to?

Maybe it's a business.
Maybe it's a role.
Maybe it's a relationship.
Maybe it's an identity.
Maybe it's a version of yourself you've been clinging to because at least it's familiar.

But here's the thing about containers:

They're not meant to last forever. They're meant to serve you for exactly as long as you need them.

And when you try to stay past that point?

The universe has a way of making it really obvious.

Revenue drops.
Opportunities vanish.
Energy plummets.
Health declines.

Not as punishment.

As redirection.

The Permission You Didn't Know You Needed

Devin gave me permission to share his story.

He said: "If we inspire one or two people not to hit as dark a moment as I hit, or to give themselves permission to raise their hand ahead of time, we both did our part."

So consider this your permission.

You don't have to wait for the breakdown.
You don't have to lose 85% of your revenue.
You don't have to hit 40 straight no's.
You don't have to sacrifice your health, your family, your peace.

You can choose to stop.
You can claim your sovereignty right now.
You can get specific about what you want and what you don't want.
You can interview opportunities instead of just accepting them.

You can ask yourself: Is this container still serving me, or am I just afraid to leave it?

And if the answer is the latter?

You can hit the self-destruct button and blow it up.

Not recklessly.
But courageously.

Not because you failed.

Because you're ready for what's next.

Less Than 24 Hours Later

I need to tell you something.

Not even 24 hours after I started writing Devin's story, I got an email.

From a colleague stepping down as CEO of the company he built.

Here are a few lines from it:

"I wasn't living in my zone of genius."

"My partner told me she saw more aliveness in me during two weeks of working on a new project than she'd seen in two years of me running the company."

"Two weeks versus two years. That ratio should tell you everything."

"How could I authentically help others find their zone of genius when I wasn't operating in mine?"

"This isn't a failure. This is me choosing alignment. Choosing integrity."

"I chose aliveness over duty. I chose truth over comfort."

Read that again.

"Two weeks versus two years."

That's what happens when you stay in a container that's become too small.

Two years of showing up. Two years of doing the work. Two years of building something real.

But two weeks of aliveness.

See what happens when someone has the courage to claim their sovereignty?

It gives everyone else permission to do the same.

Devin's story isn't just his story.

This CEO's story isn't just his story.

Your story isn't just your story.

When you choose truth over comfort, when you choose aliveness over duty, when you claim your sovereignty?

You don't just change your life.

You give everyone watching permission to change theirs.

The Power of Writing It Down

Two weeks ago, in Issue #0052, I gave you a writing assignment about your ideal day.
https://sparkinsights.beehiiv.com/p/you-might-already-be-living-your-ideal-day

Maybe you did it.
Maybe you ignored it.

But look at what Devin is doing right now.

He's writing out his non-negotiables for his next container.

Not vaguely thinking about them.

Writing them down.

Every single requirement.
Every filter.
Every standard.

And as he talks to companies, he's adding to the list. Refining it. Getting more specific.

That list is giving him something most people never have:

Sovereignty

The power to say yes to what aligns. And no to what doesn't.

Without guilt.
Without second-guessing.
Without fear.

Your Turn

I'm putting this challenge in front of you again.

Not about your ideal day this time.

About your ideal job.
Or business.
Or partner.
Or next container.

Whatever you're moving toward, write down exactly what it looks like.

Not what you think you can get.

Not what seems realistic.

What you actually want.

What are your non-negotiables?
What would disqualify an opportunity instantly?
What does success feel like in this next season?
What does freedom look like? Stability? Impact? Growth?

Write it down.

Get specific.
Get clear.
Get uncomfortably honest.

You may have ignored this two weeks ago.

But you can see the power this exercise is giving Devin right now.

Don't ignore it this time.

Do it.

The Super Terrific Awesome Writing Experience

I've created a space for you to do this work:

bobregnerus.com/super-terrific-awesome-writing-experience

Whether you pay or not is of no matter.

But the energy of paying will commit you to the challenge.

It's not about the money.
It's about the declaration.

The act of saying: "This matters. I'm doing this."

Remember what Devin is doing. What others who've done this work are experiencing.

The power of specifics cannot be denied.

It's what gives you your sovereignty.

The universe responds to clarity.
To specificity.

To someone who knows what they want and has the courage to write it down.

So write it down.

Until next week,

-Coach Reg

P.S. - The 260 Emails

After Devin sent his "Full Stop" email, 260 people responded.

A hundred of them said essentially the same thing:

"I needed this. Your vulnerability gave me permission to look at my own life."

That's the power of claiming your sovereignty.

It's not just about you.

It's about everyone watching who's been afraid to do the same thing.

Your courage becomes their permission.

So if you're waiting for a sign?

This is it.

P.P.S. - A Prayer at 3am

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do for someone in the darkness is simply hold space for them in your thoughts.

Send them energy.
Recite a prayer.
Think of them with love.

They'll feel it.

Devin did.

You might be surprised who needs your energy right now at 3am.

SPARK Insights™
Published weekly at sparkinsights.beehiiv.com
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