SPARK Insights by Coach Reg — Issue #0034

The Shift I Didn't Expect

Over the past few weeks, something has shifted.

I’ve received more email responses to SPARK Insights than in the previous thirty weeks combined. Not just polite replies or surface comments, but raw, real, vulnerable reflections. People are opening up about all kinds of stuff.

They’re saying things like:

One person asked me a question I didn’t expect to hear: “Why would you take the time to respond to me?”

Why I Respond

Here’s my answer. And I want to be really clear about this.

I respond because I don’t see you as separate from me.

This isn’t just a belief. It’s a knowing I’ve grown into over the past few decades. I didn’t learn this. I’ve always known it. I just remembered it. I’ve come to see that every single person I interact with is not “other” but an extension of me.

We are all drops from the same ocean. The drop may appear separate, but it is still the ocean. In Buddhist thought, this metaphor represents our entire lifetime — a momentary expression of form that springs from source, experiences individuality, and then returns. It’s not a separation. It’s a cycle. The drop never ceases to be ocean. It simply appears to be separate for a while.

That same idea was echoed beautifully in a scene from The White Lotus, where a character reflects on death not as an ending, but a return to source...a reintegration with the ocean we never truly left.

Call it consciousness. Call it divine intelligence. Call it God. Doesn’t matter. We’re connected by something deeper than ideas or interests or career paths. When I read your emails, I feel your words. I carry them. Because they’re a part of me.

The Great Lie

I believe the first and most damaging lie we’re ever taught is that we are separate.

Separate from others. Separate from God. Separate from truth. That lie creates the illusion that if someone else is suffering, we don’t have to feel it. That if someone else is stuck, it has nothing to do with us. That we’re all on our own little islands trying to “win” life.

But I’ve been doing this long enough to know:

• When one of us is struggling, that struggle ripples through the rest of us.

• When one of us wakes up, the rest of us feel it too.

That’s why I respond.

Not because I’m a coach trying to be nice. Not because I’m looking to make a sale. But because someone took the time to read something I wrote, to feel something real, and then took the time to write back. That deserves a response. Always.

The Mirror We All Need

So many people right now are walking around without a mirror. They’re doing the best they can, holding things together on the outside while quietly wondering,

"Does anyone see what I’m carrying? Does anyone care?"

Sometimes I get to be the person who says, “Yes. I see you. And yes, I care.”

That’s not fluff. That’s the work.

What People Are Holding

The truth is, I’m seeing more clearly than ever how much pain people are holding:

• A professional who tied their identity to sales performance and is now unraveling after a string of bad calls.

• A founder who missed Q2 goals by a wide margin.

• An entrepreneur who stumbled during a high-stakes meeting .

• A speaker who froze in front of an audience .

• A parent who lost their temper in a moment of stress and couldn’t stop replaying the moment for days.

• A solopreneur who made a hiring decision they regretted.

• A high performer who got a “no” on a pitch and feels they have lost their edge.

And yet in the middle of all this, something beautiful is happening.

A New Question Emerges

People are waking up to a new question:

What if this moment doesn’t have to mean what I’ve always made it mean?

• What if the bad round is just data?

• What if the missed quarter is just feedback?

• What if the old story that says “you suck” isn’t true anymore?

What I’ve learned over these past few weeks is that the pain is real. The struggle is real. But the stories we attach to those things are optional.

And that’s what these conversations are doing. They’re helping us all drop the story. Not because we’re trying to escape the pain, but because we’re finally ready to see it clearly.

It’s like “D” said in one of his replies:

That’s the Shift

Letting go of old mental reflexes and replacing them with grounded awareness.

Not because we’re trying to be perfect. But because we’re tired of carrying the weight of false meaning.

Where My Work Is Going

This is where the next layer of my work is going.

Yes, I help people clarify business strategies. Yes, I coach on leadership, direction, and decision-making.

But underneath all of it, what I’m really doing is helping people see themselves more clearly.

Sometimes that looks like naming a pattern. Sometimes it means asking a question that no one’s dared to ask. And sometimes it’s just sitting beside someone and saying,

“That voice in your head is not the truth.”

Yesterday I admitted something to Arlene about how I was feeling. She listened, then asked me one of those soul-level questions she tends to drop at the perfect moment. She said, "So who is that voice you're listening to?"

She's wise like that. She knows when to just be with me while I talk things through. And then, with one well-timed question, she shows me our souls are in sync.

All I could say was, "Yes ma'am. I don't know whose voice that is, but I know for damn sure it isn't the truth."

Why I’ll Keep Responding

This is why I respond.

Because if you take the time to share what’s real, I will meet you there. With presence, not platitudes. With honesty, not advice. With compassion, not performance.

Not because I’m a coach.
Because I’m human.

And so are you.

We’re all part of the same ocean.

Let’s keep this conversation going.

— Coach Reg