SPARK Insights by Coach Reg — Issue #0033

Here’s something I’ve been thinking about—and it might land for you, too.

I've spent over four decades immersed in environments where results were everything. In sports. In business. In life. When the clock hit zero on the basketball court and we were behind on the scoreboard, it was a loss. Period. When I looked at a golf scorecard and saw a number higher than my playing partner’s, that was also a loss. And in business, those red numbers on a P&L? Losses.

From a young age, it made sense to me to evaluate everything through that lens. Win/loss. Profit/loss. Higher/lower. Better/worse.

And not just evaluate—but attach meaning to it.

At first, that meant channeling results into improvement. Hustle more. Train harder. Get sharper. But as the years went on, the meaning got heavier. A bad game didn’t just mean I lost—it meant I wasn’t prepared enough. Or focused enough. Or maybe I wasn’t good enough.

The story didn’t stop there.

I started asking questions like:
“What does this say about how I’m seen by others?”
“Do they think I’m slipping?”
“Am I still credible?”
“Do I still belong at this level?”

And eventually, the meaning I assigned began to shape my identity.
It wasn’t “I lost.”
It was “I’m a loser.”

Now, that may sound harsh. But if you’re being honest with yourself, have you ever done the same?

Maybe you missed a revenue goal. Maybe a launch didn’t go well. Maybe your golf swing felt off for a few rounds in a row. And instead of treating those as isolated events, you began to spiral.

What’s wrong with me?
Why can’t I get this right?
Am I built for this after all?

But here’s the shift I’ve been working on—something that’s quietly, but radically, changing the way I experience life:

What if it didn’t mean anything?

What if that bad round, off quarter, or missed opportunity was just... data?

No emotional charge.
No identity crisis.
No existential inventory.

Just feedback.

That’s it.

As someone who feels deeply—and I know many of you do too—I’ve realized that I tend to over-interpret. When I’m “winning,” I inflate the moment, and maybe even my ego. When I’m “losing,” I shrink. I tell myself stories that chip away at confidence, clarity, and joy.

But lately, I’ve been leaning into a practice that’s helping:
Observe the data. Drop the story. Get curious.

Instead of spiraling into what does this mean about me?, I’ve been asking:
“Is this result in alignment with the experience I desire?”
If yes—great.
If no—what choice can I make now?

It’s not about detaching from ambition. It’s about detaching from the emotional weight that clouds clarity. From the old belief that your worth rises and falls with your scoreboard.

This isn’t always easy. I’ve been conditioned over decades to extract meaning from everything. But what I’m learning is that meaning-making can either be a superpower—or a trap.

So here’s the prompt I want to leave you with:

SPARK Insight Reflection
Where in your life are you attaching too much meaning to a result—and what becomes possible if you choose to treat it as data instead of identity?

I’d love to hear how this lands for you. Especially if you’re someone (like me) who’s learning to loosen your grip—on the club, the outcome, and the stories that no longer serve you.

— Coach Reg